WHY GOOD FRIENDS ARE CRUCIAL AT THE AGES OF 18-21

OUTFIT

JEANS / PRIMARK

SWEATSHIRT / PULL & BEAR

JACKET / H&M (NOT ONLINE)

TRAINERS / GUCCI 

BAG / KURT GEIGER

SUNGLASSES / PRIMARK

Grab yourself a cuppa, its a long one! 

When I think back to how I used to be and how I am now, I am super proud of who I am as a person. I pride myself as being honest, friendly & funny. But I never used to be. At school I was quite and shy until I really knew someone, I wouldn’t go first at anything & I certainly wasn’t confident. Now, I’m loud (good thing or bad thing?), I’m brutally honest, I love my own company & I’m super confident. I put this all down to the type of people I surrounded myself with around the ages of 18-21 which are the MOST IMPORTANT ages of your life. They shape who you are, where your life is heading to & what qualities you will have for the rest of your life. 

Growing up, I had one best friend which we done everything together. If she wasn’t going, I wasn’t either. She was confident so I didn’t need to be. She’d go first at everything so I always followed. I was happy with that but its not a good quality and this soon changed which I’m so glad of.

We fell out around the ages of 15, like major fell out. Yes, obvs it was over a boy. What argument isn’t over a boy at that age?! Our relationship wasn’t ever the same after that which MADE me make new friends. I kinda got taken under the wings of the type of girls I didn’t want to hang around with but at that age you cant be picky with friends because it was seen to be a loser if you had no friends so I went along with these new girls. One of them was a billy bullshitter. I knew I HAD to bin her off asap as I cant stand people who bullshit for the shits and giggles and to make her look popular. CYA. 

Next it was a loud but popular girl, she was funny, outgoing & very pushy. I actually really liked her because she brought me out of my shell a little bit. She laughed at my jokes which made me think I was funny so I stuck with her for a bit. Then I realised she was a little bit of a wrong one and I wasn’t afraid to bin people if I knew they were wrong for me. One good thing I’m glad of! 

So then it was about the age of 16/17 I was kind of friendless. I had friends but not people I wanted to hang around with all of the time so out I went again looking for new people. ( I wasn’t that much of a freak I didn’t actually go searching in the playground for people to become my new friend haha!) 

This is when I realised I preferred boys to girls because they were SO much easier to get on with. They didn’t go in a mood if you spoke to THE ENEMY, they just took the piss and thats what I’m good at. But obviously girls take this the wrong way, they see you laughing and joking on with the lads and they think - she’s a slag. No, mate they’re just better crack than you. 

Fast forward a few years and I became a part of a bit group of girls, I dunno how but I rather liked having a big group, it meant if one pissed you off you had other people to still hang out with. It was good because we were all different type of people, we all had different traits. One was posh but so lovely - she’s the girl who always had parties because her house was big enough. Another was the girl that everyone takes the piss out of but she doesn’t mind because it’s always funny (theres always one of these in every friendship groups!), a girl who was like me & took the piss out of everything - the laughing fits we used to have went on for days, I could honestly just look at her and we would burst out laughing & this is the type of girl you need! Then there was the drama queen (eye roll), the sporty girl who got on with EVERYONE, the girl who was so blunt and honest, the girl who everyone fancied, the moody girl & then just the normal girls who didn’t add anything to the group. FYI I am still friends with most of these and they’re my best friends and have been ever since. Obvs binned the drama queen because at this age who needs drama?! Some of them just fizzled out but the most important ones I kept! 

If you find a friend who you like their qualities then keep a hold of them, if they’re not qualities you want in a friend then bin them! 

So then I left school and went to college. I feel like this is when I feel like it happens the most because you’re growing up & these qualities that people bring out in you are the ones that shape you. 

College brought me closer to a girl who I really like & she’s actually the reason why I don’t do small talk. You know the type of chat that goes like “hiya how are you, yeah great thanks, what you been up to today, the weathers nice isn’t it” blah de blah. I don’t really care how you are because I only say hiya to you but I don’t really like you. She was a very awkward kind of person but she was great. I am also very awkward in that situation because I literally don’t speak because I don’t say small talk so it just silent. Whats more awkward, I don’t know but thats just me now.

Then I went to uni & this is when my school friends started to fizzle out, I realised that I didn’t need the moody friend because who can even deal with people that are still moody at the ages of 19. GOD not me. 

This is when I met the girl that has probably changed me the most. She is the type of girl that you wouldn’t ever put me with because she is so loud and confident and I wasn’t at the time. Her qualities that I enjoyed the most were that she’s so loyal. If you cross her once then thats it. Trust me - we fell out (Adams fault) and it took me ALL OF SUMMER to win her over. Honestly I had to bloody send her cards and text her all the time to say I was sorry, I actually made the effort because she was a friend I wanted in my life. 

She was hilarious, but she didn’t realise it. She can make me laugh without even trying. This is where my funny side came out. She made me funny because she was just so funny. If you know me then you know that I cry laugh every single time I laugh, like I mean cry when I laugh and I stopped wearing mascara around her because she made me laugh so much. She was loud - like I mean really loud I could legit hear her through the walls. This made me more outspoken, more willing to get my voice heard. 

She was confident - always so confident with however she spoke to. Confident singing at the top of her voice even if she couldn’t sing. GET SOMEONE WHO TEACHES YOU TO SING LOUD AND NOT GIVE A SHIT.

FYI I wouldn’t DARE sing out loud when I was younger because everyone told me I cant sing, I don’t give a flying fuck if I wanna sing I’m gonna sing bitch.

She was also very honest. If something didn’t look good, she’d say. We clashed heads so much because we were both so honest that we would bicker all the time & our other friends used to laugh because we were so alike.

Anyway enough about this girl but yeah find someone like this. 

Uni friends are friends for life. They’ll always be there for you because you went through the best time, the toughest time & the craziest times together. There was friends that I thought were wrong for me at that time because I know they weren’t in the best place & it would have been lethal to stay friends so we parted but I still speak to her now because she’s in a better place and I am in a stronger place. 

Then a girl who I still love to death because she’s so not confident that I made it my mission to get her to be because she has a heart of gold and she just needs to be tougher. 

Moved back home which by now I was shaped into my new self. My new confident self. Now it was the time that this big friendship group started to whittle down even more. Because we were at the age where we knew we could choose who we hung around with, people stopped associating themselves with people they couldn’t be arsed with. Like the drama queen, the one who caused drama wherever we went, the one who you had to be careful with what you said incase you stepped on eggshells. I realised she was toxic & I didn’t need that friendship in my life so deleted off FB (which is the ultimate goodbye) I felt so much better!!! 

So now, I’m in the place where I can rely on my best friends because I know they’re good for me, we add something to each others lives ( I bring beauty products & brutal honesty). We have all gained each others trust over the years we’ve known each other. When you’re older and you have your own life, its hard to keep that friendship alive because you start to not have time for each other. Everyone works different hours, everyones got their own commitments but in the end the only thing that matters is that no matter how long we don’t see each other for, when we do, its like we’ve never been apart. I mean one of us lives in NZ for gods sake and group chats keep us together. 

But the whole point of this blog post is to make you aware that the people you surround yourself with around the crucial ages of 18-21 are going to rub off on you, so if you have a toxic friendship, bin it. You can always get that friendship back when you’re both more secure people. But to those that don’t bring anything to your life other than grief then wash that person right outta that hair. It feels good. Also to those younger girls who are maybe stuck with the wrong crowd, have some balls and make some new friends, your future is in your hands so take control and shape your life by choosing the people you have in your life. 

Laura x